Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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