is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
