Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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