he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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