I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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