Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
