Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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