life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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