My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize