as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
