thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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