so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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