What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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