This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
