dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
