Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
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She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
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Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend