i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people