Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize