Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize