My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
