If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize