he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
