Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
