I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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