haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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