If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
