Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You took a bar mat shot.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
