I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
