Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize