the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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