I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
