12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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