love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
