He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
