so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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