She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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