They should really pass out barf bags in church
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
