Got a toothbrush?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
