well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
