I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
how drunk are you?
Several
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
