i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
