New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
