I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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