I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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