dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
