Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize