I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
