I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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