Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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