Your mouth is God's brothel.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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