Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
