Dual....:-)
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish my penis had an off switch
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
