Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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