No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
