before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
