youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
