How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
