good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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