He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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