it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
