He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
honey bunches of taint.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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