You're my little dorito
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
