i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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