No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
