speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
