She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You did what with his pubic hair?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
