super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sober January is a disaster.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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