i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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